The Most Odious Act
by Fabius Maximus
Summary: Remember How Ron can put his foot in his mouth?  He does here.  A rather pointless tale, covering an eternal truth.


_The most odious act.

* * *

_

"Get her KP!" Ron shouted, pumping his fist into the air. Kim kicked Shego across the room and followed up with a series of punches. Shego was down, down for the count.

"I can't believe how easy this was, Ron." Kim said, as Shego tried to get back on her hands and knees.

"I told yah, didn't I?" Ron said, grinning. "I even figured Drakken would be gone."

"Oh?" Kim said, turning around to him, "And how did you guess that?"

"Because Wade did a scan and Drakken always leaves at these four or five days of the month." Alarm bells started going off Kim's head.

"Four or five days?" Ron grinned and continued, obliviously.

"Yeah, because Wade also checked online medicine orders, and she always orders…" He read off several names—including some _Kim_ was familier with. "So we guessed that this was the time she'd be under the weather…" He trailed off as Kim gave him a look like something she'd found on the bottom of her shoe.

"You mean…. You arranged for me to beat up Shego during her time of the _month?_"

"Umm…. Well, kinda, I figured it would give you an-KP?" Kim had teleported to the side of Shego and was helping her up.

"I'm so sorry Shego, I never knew! Where's your medicine…"

"Ooooggggg…. I don't think it's going to help now… I gotta head ache, I feel bloated, and _He_ had you beat me up!" Shego sniffled. Kim glared at Ron.

"Ron… you never, _ever_, make fun of, take advantage of, or mention in anything less than the most respectful manner, a woman's….time. Not if you know what's good for you." She was helping Shego up now. Ron frowned. Here he had helped KP get an easy win over Shego, and he was getting attitude for it. Ron thinking this, forgot to censor his mouth.

"Oh C'mon, KP… don't get bent out of shape because Shego's acting like a baby about it—she's probably just pretending!" Suddenly, seven black crows flew around his head and fled, squawking in panic. In far away Tibet a prayer wheel exploded. R'leyh trembled in its unholy resting place. Psychics grabbed their heads in pain. All these events had one common factor—the people, places and things having them had far, _far_ more common sense than Ron Stoppable did at that point.

Now Ron backed up, seeing the glare in Kim and Shego's face—the unified glare.

"KP…why are you looking like that?" Ron asked. Kim replied in a voice of loathing.

"We're looking at the source of all evil in the universe."

"A _Man.__"_ Shego replied.

"Who has just made fun of something not to be mocked." Kim continued.

"And who probably makes jokes about child birth…" Shego added, as they glared at him in loathing and hatred.

"Um…. I'm going to go this way…" Ron said. Too late.

Suspended by his underwear, Ron tried to escape.

"KP! This isn't funny!"

"No, it's not." Kim purred. "Remember how you said you had never had anything to equal the atomic wedgie you got in 3rd grade?"

"Yeah?" Ron gulped as he felt Shego take one side of his briefs, as Kim took the other.

"You're about to have something to equal that atomic wedgie."

YANK!

"EIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

* * *

At Middleton, Steve Barkin wondered why Stoppable had been walking so funny all day. He hadn't been injured in a mission—Possible wasn't acting like it—if anything, she was acting stand-offish towards him.

He wasn't the only one—Monique wondered as well.

"So why is Kim so angry at you?" Monique said at lunch. Ron shrugged.

"It's a silly little thing…."

Barkin heard a sound coming down the corridor, and got out of the way just in time for Ron Stoppable, clothes in shreds, ran screaming past him. Following him was Monique, Bonnie, Tara, the rest of the Cheer squad, the girls' swim team, what looked like the girls component of the chess team, debate team and biology team, carrying an _amazing_ assortment of knives, pitchforks, torches both lit and unlit, and what looked like a subatomic laser cannon.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'LL NEVER JOKE ABOUT IT AGAIN!" Ron screamed, vanishing into the distance. Barkin blinked and saw Kim leaning against the wall.

"Possible, what is he talking about!" He barked.

"Making jokes, comments, or anything else about, ah, um…" She turned red, "A ladies time of the month." Barkin blinked. Blinked again.

"That fool." Barkin said. "Do you think he'll reach the parkin-" A scream and the sound of hyena's running down a zebra (or a lot of girls cheering) came up the corridor.

"Guess not." He said.

The end.


End file.
